dontappropriatemedummy: goldenmanda: I’m equal opportunity as far as dating goes. There is way to many fine women and men in the world for me to be limiting myself to one demographic. That’s like asking to be lonely. My fore fathers fought for me to have equal rights. That means I can fuck who I want annnddd have all the mixed brown babies I want. Catch me at 35 with a rainbow coalition of...
Your just a b, and that doesn’t stand for best.
WE ARE NO LONGER EVEN BFF’S, YOUR NOT EVEN A F!
*Mom hands me phone to answer*
Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?
Me: I have no mother.
Her: Well can I speak to your father?
Me: Yeah, which one?
Her: Which one is home?
Me: Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
Her: Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
Me: No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
Her: So who's Antonio?
Me: I just told you, Carlos's ex.
Her: So Carlos was cheating?
Me: Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
Her: So Mark wasn't cheating?
Me: I never said that.
Her: Yes, yes you did!
Me: No I didn't.
Her: Y-yes! You did!
Me: Did what?
Her: Y-you- Never mind have a nice day, goodbye.
I regret nothing. Except getting with Mos Def. That I regret.
I really want to say fuck it all and become a sex symbol
Wtfuck did I just read?
I don’t get to see my little sisters much but I swear it’s the greatest feeling to look at them and see me. Give them hugs / make animal sounds while rubbing their backs and they get it. Through the distance they still get my cookyness and silly ways. And to hear them say I love you at least 3 times before I leave a room melts my heart to dust. I do it fa dem.
yuengcrewneck: his and hers bucket hats
I’ve been awake for far too many hours
My best friend’s resume literally describes her as flawless. I’m done and in tears.
Jon B….where are u? hahaha. Seriously tho…where?
Anonymous asked: Damn, you have instagram or vine lol